Why did linkin park cross the road?

Chin chan called.

an englishman, a scotsman and an irishman are sitting in an australian pub, all ordering a beer. a fly lands in each of their drinks, to which the englishman turns his head in disgust and orders another beer, pushing the first away. the scotsman merely fishes the fly out and throws it over his shoulder, taking a swig, while the irishman glares into his glass, rips out the fly and screams at it, "spit it out, you bastard"

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'

The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, 'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.'

what N word would you not want to call a black man

5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>	Anonymous 09/18/2009(Fri)21:23:03 No. 14 [Reply & Quote] What is the difference between a nigger and a gorilla? It's cruel to keep a gorilla in a cage

>>	Anonymous 09/20/2009(Sun)15:49:42 No. 15 [Reply & Quote] >>14 its cruel to make gorillas live on just bananas

>>	Anonymous 09/24/2009(Thu)17:50:25 No. 18 [Reply & Quote] File 125383982558.jpg - (24.09KB , 363x473 , obama_barack.jpg ) you can take the nigger out of the ghetto but you cant take the ghetto out of the nigger

>>	Anonymous 09/26/2009(Sat)04:05:56 No. 19 [Reply & Quote] whats a niglets fave TV station nigga-lodian

>>	Bob 11/10/2009(Tue)21:33:33 No. 49 [Reply & Quote] What do you call it when a BMW hits the ocean at 100mph with four niggas inside? A waste of space, there could've been a fifth...

One night a young boy gets up to get a glass of water. On his way back from the kitchen, he walks past his parents room and notices that the door it slightly open, the lights are on, and there are strange noises coming from inside.
He walks to the door and peeks his head in to see his dad banging his mom, wheelbarrow style. While standing there awestruck, his father catches sees him. His father turns to look at him and instead of stopping and yelling at the child, just give him a smile, a wink, and thumbs up.
About a week later, the father comes home from work to find his son fucking his grandmother on the kitchen table. The son sees the father and gives him a smile, a wink, and a thumbs up.
The father screams at the top of his lungs "What the fuck are you doing?!", to which the son replies:
punchline in the pic.

http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache:WJwD4nYugh4J:bouncecup.com/+2girls1cup&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk

Pic not related.


A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. A tiny little man walks past him, and starts playing the piano.
The man says to the bartender "holy shit that guy is tiny! he's like barely a foot tall! and he's playing the piano like an incredible composer! where'd you get him!"
the bartender says "This magical lamp here, it's supposed to bring you cool shit.
The man asks if it works, and the bartender says "you can try it for $5.00"
the man rubs the lamp, and a genie pops out.
*cough cough* What...
the man is baffled and looks at the genie and says "I wish I had a million bucks!"
the genie says.. "I'll get right on that"
A few minutes later, the bar doors fly open, and the windows shatter. The bar room, is then filled with a million ducks.
The man is furious and says to the bartender "What the fuck is this shit! I asked for a million bucks! NOT DUCKS!"
the bartender replies with "You think i asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

a bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the rabbit says "no", so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.